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A Guide how to deal with your Ex on Carnival

Carnival! The most wonderful time of year! Friends, family and acquaintances unite, and blissfully fete for days and nights on end, creating a slew of wonderful memories that culminate in the greatest show on earth.  We wait all year to enjoy the latest soca hits, throw on our sexiest outfits, link up with our besties, and of course, show off our hard work in the gym Monday and Tuesday.  What could possibly go wrong?  What could possibly interrupt this euphoria?

Well…considering your ex, your man/woman’s ex, and your enemies may also be attending the same fetes or playing in the same bands…A LOT.  Here are some tips to ensure a peaceful carnival, and of course, to avoid getting a drop kick to the chest from an angry, high heeled frontliner in full costume.

1-One of my fellow committee members asked this question “If you’re on the road with an ex you had a bad break up with is it or isn’t it out of place to sneak a lil wine?”

Hmmm… let me think…the answer is NO!  If you are unsure of where you stand with someone, wining on them is probably not the best of ideas.  More than likely, you will embarrass yourself when they ask you why on earth you would dare approach them when you haven’t spoken in months.  Unless you are certain that there is no bad blood…smile, nod and keep it moving.  Or…get backhanded at your own risk. The choice is yours.

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2- Scenario: You are at a fete, or on the road for mas.  You see your ex with his/her new man/woman.  You have never met their new partner, and you have not spoken to your ex since they have started dating.  They are standing near mutual friends.  Should you go over to say hello? Should you seize said opportunity to showcase your wining skills and remind them of what they have lost?

Absolutely NOT.

“You are a plant. That means you’re there, you take up space, but like a plant you’re inanimate and will never be acknowledged.

Carnival doesn’t elevate you from the realm of oblivion. Do NOT approach me just because I look happy.

You will wear my drink.” –TCD committee words of advice

Speaking from personal experience, this happens quite often.  If you MUST be in my vicinity it is best you walk on by as though you are wearing horse blinders.  Pretend I am invisible and move away as quickly as you can. If you must converse with mutual friends, wave and smile for now, and carry on further conversation at a later time…when they are not standing next to me. Dire consequences will result if you attempt anything more.   IF you MUST for some god unknown reason address your ex and they have a new partner with them…DO NOT try to act big and bad and ignore said partner.  Your mas feathers will get plucked faster than a chicken on a poultry farm and you will end up on the ground.

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3- Have you recently broken up with your ex?

Well my friend, it is too late to change your plans now.  If you are going to an event you KNOW your ex will attend… do NOT go looking like the poster girl/guy for self-pity. Go with arm candy looking like a god/goddess.  Hair, makeup and outfit on point.  Contrary to how this sounds, this is not meant to “impress your ex”.  This is to give you the confidence and strength to make it through this event with grace and poise.  If you don’t feel your absolute best, chances are you will end up in tears once the liquor hits you, and make a fool of yourself.  Under NO circumstances are you to put yourself purposely in their line of vision or try to show off said eye candy on purpose.  They will see right through this, as it is the oldest trick in the book.  The key here is to ACTUALLY attempt to enjoy yourself, and if they HAPPEN to witness it…well bonus points for you!

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4-So I have left this scenario for last, because it tends to be the most complicated.  You have no exes, no enemies, no problems with anyone…however, your friend/family that you are attending an event/mas with does. You have no personal issue with the person/people they loathe.  How do you handle the inevitable awkward approach?

Here is the bottom line: your loyalty belongs with the people you value the most. This is a LIFE rule, forget carnival or fetes for a second.  Your loyalty should not lie with the people you simply want “to keep the peace with” or people you enjoy attention/perks from.   If your friend/sister/cousin etc, has an issue with someone, the easiest thing to do is to smile, say “hey what’s up?” when they approach and CLEAR the area.  The old “I am not taking sides” will more than likely result in the person resenting you, and/or dropping you from their life altogether.  I am sure some people will argue that this is an “immature” expectation.  No, it actually is not because if you list the most important people in your life, chances are you no longer associate with anyone who has hurt them… whether it be an ex, a friend or anyone else.  Sometimes, you need to choose a side.  And if you refuse to, don’t blame someone for no longer wanting you in their circle.

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Now of course these rules are not written in stone.   This is essentially a guideline for handling those you have known problems with (or more than likely do but you are not sure). There are MANY people who are friends with their exes, who are friends with their partners’ exes, etc.  No one is expecting you to avoid these people like the plague.  The bottom line here is, use your discretion.  Be RESPECTFUL in your interactions toward all parties involved, to keep the peace.   If there is anyone you have ill feelings toward, or you know harbors ill feelings toward you…just stay away.  We all put so much effort, planning and money into carnival. Don’t ruin your own, or someone else’s good time for the sake of stroking your own ego.

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